304 pm - 09.01.06
a reawakening of sorts
i just spent the last hour going through archived entries and reliving the days of early autumn 5 years ago. tears are coming to my eyes remembering exactly how those moments felt.
simultaneously, everclear came on my internet radio and it suddenly became apparent to me why she and i struggle to find things in common anymore.
i'm not the girl i was five years ago. she was confused and repressed and constantly feeling outside of things. feeling like an outsider all the time can make someone quite cynical and rough.
the cold air this morning reminded me that fall is coming. i have for too long been thinking of the seasons as just that - seasons. they aren't just a matter of days that are warm or cold. these are the beautiful moments i'll remember forever.
i'm sorry, diaryland, for neglecting you. you have been the home of my deepest emotions and hidden secrets for five years. i'll come back, reveal more.
until then, green day's "when i come around" will coast me along this nostalgia trip as my flesh tingles with goosebumps, having realized i have been emotionally dead to myself for too long now.
'cause you know where i'll be found when i come around.
