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05.24.20 | 818 am what's worse than silence? words without meaning from someone for whom you desire to hold meaning. my problem is that i keep wanting something from men that they aren't conditioned to want or to provide. i just want someone to take an active interest in me for me. someone who wants not just my body, but also to know my thoughts, feelings, dreams, desires, et cetera et cetera. it is so cliched, i know. and i keep making excuses for them. i keep clinging to the tiniest shreds of evidence that i mean more than just a bit of escapism. that i am in some small way a real person to them rather than an object to be used or sans serif font on a screen. i'm done with making excuses for them. i'm done being lied to.
hello dad, i'm in jail |