04.17.20 | 301 pm

blackout curtains


Although I'm sure he'd never read this (he never took enough interest in my life to have ever known that most of it that came before him is chronicled here, or that I've started writing here again), I have to be careful nonetheless.

I set some things in motion today that marks a significant step for me of a radical change. And I'm absolutely petrified. The fear and uncertainty and despair about it all has me rather stuck in my head, today. I can't bring myself to be present or responsive. I just want to curl in a ball, in a cave, put on some sad music and sob until the pain eases or I pass out. Whichever comes first.